A Scattering of D'advice

As most of y'all already know, one of my very oldest and closest friends is about to become a daddy for the first time. He's looking for a baby girl this fall, and the last time we were together he was asking me serious questions about what it's like. I don't think I gave a thoughtful enough answer, but I thought this might be a good place to explore it, and also to invite you other dads out there to throw in with some advice for our friend.
The obvious opener is that you have to fall in love with the young'un as quick as you can. Momma has already been tied, literally, to her for three-quarters of the year. This means you have to spend time with the little blob and talk to her and let her get to know you. You don't realize it, but she is sucking up everything like a Tarpon Springs sponge. Everything. They will not end up as distinct memories, so it's still ok to slip up and cuss now and then without her repeating it back to her therapist in 20 years, but it's the foundation of a person that she is building inside that sponge, so be smart about it.
For the first couple years, she is gonna want things. Milk, attention, sleep, basically your basics. The way she is going to ask for them is in the soul-piercing javelin of the cry. You have to respond to this, with words so she can associate what she wants to tell you later, and then go on about your important bidness. That's going to be your whole relationship for a while.
Then, as I am painfully reminded of this every day at the Montessori school where I work, You must develop an immunity to the power of your child's tears by the time they start talking. Whining and crying to get what they want has to be squelched, with a capital Q. Now it's Momma that's going to have the hardest time with this, so you have to keep an eye on her too. (I don't worry about ticking off my wife with this, because she knows it's true). If y'all are on the same page, and all kiddie whining and 'carrying on' is met not with acquiescence (with a lower case q), but rather with denial -- and carefully veiled rage -- it will all but disappear in a couple of days. It will certainly end a lot quicker when it does happen, and you don't always wind up buying the piece of crap that is only going to end up as closet liner within a week.
Now, my buddy's little girl is destined to have one of those Mommas that want to play dress up with the baby, and wants to pamper and pet and protect. These are all important things for Momma to do, but Daddy's job is a little different. Daddy has to be impenetrable in his kid's eyes. You never give your kids things to worry about. They don't need to see you scared, and it's fine if they want to think you could beat up the dad of that bully kid should the need arise. Dad's got to be strong and honest and provide a good example. And personally, I recommend being an ongoing source of trivia. Toss out some random but interesting facts at the dinner table once in a while. It ain't gonna hurt 'em.
Never hit the kid. When they're little take away things that are important to them. I'm talking mostly about privileges and treats, rather than food and shelter. When they get old enough, always go with the guilt trip and responsibility and that you 'feel like your trust was taken advantage of,' That's always a winner.
All in all, it's not as hard as changing the line on the weedeater, but it's harder than setting the clock on the DVD player. Plenty of good folks are brought up by bad dads, but why not give your own flesh and blood as many advantages as you can? That's what you signed up for.
Let me close with an embarrassing display of my knowledge of girly music. There's a John Mayer song that has always hit home with me, it came out the same year my daughter was born:
Fathers be good to your daughters,
Your daughters will love like you do,
Girls become lovers that turn into mothers,
So mothers be good to your daughters too.
Yeah, the lovers part creeps me out too, but just try not to think about that for at least a dozen or so years.